nyozeka:

i hope my first child is a dragon

Will someone get me these fish pillows

http://www.cabelas.com/product/Tree-House-Kids-Giant-Fish-and-Crocodile-Pillows/1265726.uts

Not the stupid dolphin one though cause dolphins are little punks who I don’t like to associate with

fartgallery:

pro tip: wear clothes under your skin so when the police chase you down for public nudity you can rip off your skin and reveal your stylish cardigan and make them look dumb as heck

reallyreallyreallytrying:

yo i ain’t saying she’s a gold-digger but she does carry a weird pan everywhere and keep mumbling stuff about “gold in them there hills” idk so yeah she is probably a gold digger

thewaywardfox:

protip: if you cant remember someones name, just call them “old sport”